Pothole Mystery

Has anyone else noticed that potholes around the city of Kingston are being mysteriously patched? Something is amiss! It's certainly not the government doing this, as it's nowhere near election time. And the government never uses tax payers dollars to do anything but palliate the crowds before election, and line their own pockets. So who is perpetrating this dastardly deed?

While many of us have noticed these roads being repaired, how many of us have actually seen repair crews? This is certainly not taking place during the day, as there is neither traffic congestion nor detour signs. This is yet another sign that the government isn't doing this, for they only do things that inconvenience motorists and other road users. These actions are definitely being perpetrated by a covert organization, under the cover of darkness!

This begs the question, what are their motives? Perhaps they are seeking to rob the government of their one election tool, besides the empty promises. If this clandestine group patches the roads now, the government will have to use something else to bribe the country when it's time to vote. Maybe the political parties will start giving out free patties at election time. Afterall, the patty tax has made that once cheap food an expensive delicacy. 

Another possibility is that the roads are being patched by criminal gangs, who are tired of damaging their getaway cars, by dropping into potholes at high speeds. Given that the police are getting better at giving chase, this last supposition is highly likely.

Jamaica, be on the lookout! These pothole bandits are armed with asphalt, and are extremely dangerous. They are out to destabilize the status quo, and may be filling a pothole near you.

Occupational Hazard

Some people have jobs which are inherently dangerous, and they adapt to this danger, and learn to protect themselves.  Police officers are practically walking bulls eyes - at least that's how I feel when I'm around them.  I just imagine someone taking a shot at them, and hitting me instead.  But I digress.  Their jobs are dangerous, so they learn to be alert and to wear bullet proof vests.  They adapt and exercise caution. 

Then there are some people whose jobs are not necessarily dangerous, but involve the possibility of accidents.  And no, I don't mean taxi drivers.  They generally cause accidents, but often escape scotch free!  I'm thinking about the people who sell their wares in traffic - be it the fruit in season, the ubiquitous bananas, today's newspaper, or various fandangles for your car. Not to mention the windshield extortionists.  They spend their day prancing about in traffic, dancing between cars, timing stoplights, and dodging taxi drivers.  And most of them are pretty good with their rush hour acrobatics.

But occasionally there are some who are a hazard to themselves.  Case in point: while turning on a filter light yesterday, I had to break hard to avoid hitting a woman who decided to dart across the road with her bags of apples, at the same moment the light turned green.  It was bad enough that she was hidden behind a vehicle waiting at the lights.  But to make matters worse, she was the pedestrian from hell.  First she walks out into the road, hesitates and backpedals when she sees my car, then changes her mind and runs out into the middle of the road where she froze - like a deer caught in headlights. My antilock brakes screamed as they laboured to stop my car from making her into street pizza.  Had anyone been driving behind me, I would most likely have been rear ended.

Most pedestrians don't know how to, or don't care to use traffic lights.  Instead, they expect drivers to know how to use their brakes.  But you'd think that someone who spends their day in traffic would learn a thing or two about self preservation!

Fix Orange Street!

Im a so annoyed!  And the more time passes, the more my annoyance simmers. Maybe I'm frustrated with myself, but I'm gonna blame the idiots who build the roads in this country.  Who the heck puts a median in the middle of the road you're supposed to be driving on?!  Worse yet, who forgets to put markers, maybe a sign saying sharp left?!  Slipe Road/Orange Street is dangerous!

I wonder how many motorists have had accidents because of that poorly marked, ill-designed road.  And the annoying part of it is that you know it's there.  In fact, I drove there earlier in the day without mishap.  Drove back again in the night, and it's like the stupid turn appeared out of no flipping where!  Fortunately the road was empty, could have been more serious had there been other vehicular traffic.

So now I have one shaken up but safe passenger (glad you're ok), a cracked oil pan, missing hub cap (wasn't about to stop there to assess the damage), dented rims, and who knows what else.  Poor Alex (my car) shut off at the top of my road, and wouldn't start.  Had to coast her home and push her into a parking spot.  At least she made it home.

I hope writing truly is cathartic.  I'm dreading the visit to the mechanic.  So much for zeroing the credit card for the New Year.

Don't Overtake Me While I'm Talking!

Most people will agree that driving while using a cellphone is dangerous.  Taking it a step further, driving while doing anything distracting can be dangerous.  However, despite our best efforts, we all do it at some point - either to get directions, or to make a call that we convinced ourselves can't wait.  And let's not mention the Blackberry addicts.  For most of us, we haven't suffered the consequences...yet, and so we continue doing it.

Studies have shown that some people have a knack for multitasking, and can successfully pull off driving while multitasking.  Most people will be quick to decide that they fall into that category.  But truth be told, it's mostly people who have been trained to do this who can pull it off - think law enforcement officials who have a myriad devices to use while driving, military personel who may need to drive and still shoot straight, and taxi drivers who have inhuman driving reflexes.

Some people fall into the "too dangerous to be behind a steering wheel" category, and then they become accidents waiting to happen when you throw a cell phone in the mix.  While running an errand today I ran into one such person, metaphorically speaking.  

The driver in question was ambling along with a clear road in front of him, so I figured that he was about to pull over. In fact, he did pull a bit to the left at one point. Eventually I decided to overtake him so I toot my horn and pulled out, at which point I realized to my annoyance that he was an old geezer on his cell phone.  As I started to level off with him, he began to drift to the right, so I blew my horn and prepared to abort my overtake.  Noticing my attempt to overtake he straightened up his car, and then stuck his hand (and phone) out the window to wave me on in an annoyed manner.  I overtook him and looked back to see him slow down again, almost causing the guy who was now stuck behind him to rear end him.

Forget about banning these people from driving while using a cell phone.  They should not be allowed to own a car and a cell phone!